Rated A – Not for Kids

Disclaimer : This post contains statements (none uttered by me) which might offend the frail-hearted reader. At the time these statements were delivered, they had driven us insane with laughter that was purely circumstantial, and I think they might not appear amusing anymore. But they remain as outrageous as ever, and some of them are funny in the Groucho Marx way.

1)B(han)u and A(rna)b were chatting.

S(hou)vik – A(rna)b, don’t listen to him, he is gay.
B(han)u (indignantly) – I am not gay, I am broadminded.

2) S(hou)vik – Are you changing your room partner to Ramprasad?
Bhanu – No no, it’s difficult to make a new relationship in such a short time.

For the sake of records, Beli was Bhanu’s partner in room (and anything else that we don’t know of yet).

3) S(hou)vik – I am a narcissist. I look at myself in the mirror and masturbate.

The Annie Hall Effect

And this one time in our hostel ;), we watched Annie Hall after I insisted that everyone does so. The following scene inspired us, and a string of comments followed -

Alvy Singer: Oh stop it, you’re having an affair with your college professor, that jerk that teaches that incredible crap course, Contemporary Crisis in Western Man…
Annie Hall: Existential Motifs in Russian Literature. You’re really close.
Alvy Singer: What’s the difference? It’s all mental masturbation.
Annie Hall: Oh, well, now we’re finally getting to a subject you know something about.
Alvy Singer: Hey, don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.

4) Ar(ghy)a (when An(shu)l suggested that we should have a GBM (general body meeting) as soon as possible) -
What’s the point? Democracy is just vocal masturbation.

5) S(hou)vik (when I asked about his physics experiment report) -
That is experimental masturbation.

6) S(hou)vik (on Einstein and Philosophers and their futility) -
All philosophical orgasms are faked.

7) I don’t remember who came up with the question, but we all seeemed to come up with the answer at the same time, though independently.

Q: What’ll A(nir)bit’s autobiography be called?
A: Physical Masturbation!

8) An(shu)l (when I said I am going to put all that in my blog) -
History will be on your side, because you’ll be masturbating it.


Incorrigible Introvert

I wouldn't pretend I have a worthy tale to tell, I have only the ramifications of a twisted mind to sell.
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12 Responses to Rated A – Not for Kids

  1. Victor says:

    Hey what ll ur autobiography be called???

    Mathematical Masturbation??

  2. @Victor
    “Mathematical Masturbation” is not funny, because unlike “Physical Masturbation,” it’s not a pun.

  3. Arghya says:

    Well, “Mathematical Masturbation” is not a pun, but an alliteration of course!

    Things doesn’t get any smarter with Mathematics anyway ;-) …. so I guess Incorrigible Introvert has to settle for this one..

  4. bhanukiran says:

    thanks for making me famous dude..
    keep it up :)

  5. c h says:

    brilliant… funyy too…

  6. darthpsykoz says:

    u should also add shila(dit)ya’s comments like he’s a co-homosexual .. :)

  7. @darthpsykoz
    Dude, it was I who said that!

  8. darthpsykoz says:

    ooh soory,
    but u were talking about him rite?

  9. san says:

    well..though I could not make out the whole thing.yet…could sense outthe real discussion must have been totally hilarious..!

  10. shouvik says:

    sometimes when i look back into the days of yore, i oft wonder: am I de-evolving?
    ditto happens when i look into my old assignments :(

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