Disclaimer : This post contains statements (none uttered by me) which might offend the frail-hearted reader. At the time these statements were delivered, they had driven us insane with laughter that was purely circumstantial, and I think they might not appear amusing anymore. But they remain as outrageous as ever, and some of them are funny in the Groucho Marx way.
1)B(han)u and A(rna)b were chatting.
S(hou)vik – A(rna)b, don’t listen to him, he is gay.
B(han)u (indignantly) – I am not gay, I am broadminded.
2) S(hou)vik – Are you changing your room partner to Ramprasad?
Bhanu – No no, it’s difficult to make a new relationship in such a short time.
For the sake of records, Beli was Bhanu’s partner in room (and anything else that we don’t know of yet).
3) S(hou)vik – I am a narcissist. I look at myself in the mirror and masturbate.
The Annie Hall Effect
And this one time in our hostel ;), we watched Annie Hall after I insisted that everyone does so. The following scene inspired us, and a string of comments followed -
Alvy Singer: Oh stop it, you’re having an affair with your college professor, that jerk that teaches that incredible crap course, Contemporary Crisis in Western Man…
Annie Hall: Existential Motifs in Russian Literature. You’re really close.
Alvy Singer: What’s the difference? It’s all mental masturbation.
Annie Hall: Oh, well, now we’re finally getting to a subject you know something about.
Alvy Singer: Hey, don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.
4) Ar(ghy)a (when An(shu)l suggested that we should have a GBM (general body meeting) as soon as possible) -
What’s the point? Democracy is just vocal masturbation.
5) S(hou)vik (when I asked about his physics experiment report) -
That is experimental masturbation.
6) S(hou)vik (on Einstein and Philosophers and their futility) -
All philosophical orgasms are faked.
7) I don’t remember who came up with the question, but we all seeemed to come up with the answer at the same time, though independently.
Q: What’ll A(nir)bit’s autobiography be called?
A: Physical Masturbation!
8) An(shu)l (when I said I am going to put all that in my blog) -
History will be on your side, because you’ll be masturbating it.