I am a girl-stalker

In the ideal world, everyone would accept my testimonials. But as reported by a multitude of pompous philosophers, poets, writers and at least one famous mathematician, this world is far from perfect, and we must turn to this explanation when one considers the fact that practically all of my testimonials get turned down on an hourly basis. It is to preserve them for posterity that I post them here, and here is the latest.

This one is actually a song, to be sung along the tunes of “I am a vampire” by Antsy Pants (Juno fans will remember this). Please note that it wasn’t supposed to be funny. And I am not saying it wasn’t supposed to be funny in order to cover up my theoretical and highly debatable crude sense of humour by an acute awareness of it.


I am a girl-stalker, I am a girl-stalker (2x)
I am a girl-stalker
Girl-stalker
I am a girl-stalker
I have lost my thing

So I’m sad
And I feel horny
So I cry
And I’m very angry
And I hate some girl lately
So I’m so no more sad
And ache yeah, yeah

I am a girl-stalker
And I am
Looking in the city
Pretty girls
Don’t look at me
Don’t look at me
Cause
I don’t have my thing
But I have lost
My thing

I am a girl-stalker
I am a girl-stalker
I have lost
My thing again
I am a girl-stalker
I am a girl-stalker
I have lost
My thing again

So I get bone
And I shred
So I fuck all
And I croon some place
And I sing
With my best looking
And I want
To play the guitar
But my guitar
Is out of tune
I am a girl-stalker
I am looking in the CD
And the musical
Don’t play with me
Don’t play with me

Because I don’t play
With my thing again
And I have lost
My mind again

Share:  

Incorrigible Introvert

I wouldn't pretend I have a worthy tale to tell, I have only the ramifications of a twisted mind to sell.
This entry was posted in Funny, Opinions, The Diary of a Fugitive. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to I am a girl-stalker

  1. pratish says:

    Time to play with your thing? Or is it defunct? [;)]
    Btw..nice post..

  2. Simran says:

    good lord! i feel sorry for the person to whom you sent this!

  3. jenny@$$ says:

    you apparently wrote one for rainbow that met this fate. how come you havent put that up yet?

  4. I love that nick. :)

    The testimonial you are asking about is the second one in – http://baboonlogic.com/2009/01/14/two-testimonials/ . It’s actually a watered down version of the original, which had quite a few explicit references. :)

    It was turned down on the grounds of “What will my students think?” :D

    Of all the lameness in the world, he had to offer me that one.

  5. you apparently wrote one for rainbow that met this fate. how come you havent put that up yet?

Leave a Reply