Baboon Logic

Note 1: This is the official sequel to The Mail that Launched a Thousand Spams.

Note 2: To those who received the drafts - The reference to Robert Kolker was incorrect, which I discovered after going painstalkingly through his mammoth book again in an effort to quote him exactly (it contains the whole of GRE word list many times over). That would explain the delay. He said some nice insightful things though.

Note 3: This story, and its prequel, are officially declared to be ficticious accounts incorporating no characters inspired by anyone living or dead.

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Was this the mail that launched a thousand spams

And gave birth to that greatest of all date rape drugs?

Sweet Rolypoly, make my inbox immortal with thy presence.

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Disclaimer : This post contains statements (none uttered by me) which might offend the frail-hearted reader. At the time these statements were delivered, they had driven us insane with laughter that was purely circumstantial, and I think they might not appear amusing anymore. But they remain as outrageous as ever, and some of them are funny in the Groucho Marx way.

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I saw my first episode of Indian Idol today. I was actually watching Sachin and Dravid bat on the second day of the second test at Trent Bridge, but they were too wary and cautious to be putting up an interesting performance.

It was an open secret that Anu Malik is an idiot. After today’s episode, it is not a secret anymore. He wrongly commented on the personal life of one of the contestants (to Deepali, your crush is crushing your voice. How cheeky is that?!). When cornered by the righteous Alisha Chinai, he employed three different devices of rhetorics (stalling techniques, more accurately) to evade the issue and justify himself. It could have been four, but one of his techniques constituted of making completely irrelevant statements and my knowledge of rhetorics is too poor to place it.

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Here is a passage directly from the 7th installment, except that I have changed “wand” to “wang!”

Hermione speaks …

“The Deathstick, the Wang of Destiny, they crop up under different names through the centuries, usually in the possession of some Dark wizard who’s boasting about them. Professor Binns mentioned some of them, but — oh it’s all nonsense. Wangs are only as powerful as the wizards who use them. Some wizards just like to boast that theirs are bigger and better than other people’s.”

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11:13 PM ***har**: Busy?
Never mind then
Although I do love talking to blank wall sometimes
Well all the time
Do you talk to yourself?
I do
11:14 PM (Most of my friends do)
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This is a short story I wrote together with my brother some three years back. He was in grade three, and wanted to know how stories are written. So we wrote one together. The names have all been changed, of course.

I also wrote some poems for him when he wanted to know how poems are written, but I subsequently used them to flirt with a girl and have to deal with my ambivalence towards them before I can put them here. Read the rest »

That I had no clue to what waited for me behind those closed doors would have been a lie. Yet, I couldn’t bring myself to believe what was about to happen. I was feeling misunderstood and misinterpreted. Everything about CSS that I had taken for granted was falling apart.

I held my breath and knocked on the doors.

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