midnight
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Midnight Mishaps
(The following account is true to the last embarrassing detail.)
I was too engrossed to notice the creaking of the bed room door when it opened, and it was not until the lights of the dining hall were switched on that I realised that someone was awake. Whoever it was, he had timed himself well to make sure that I could be caught at the most embarrassing moment of my midnight venture. A minute earlier, and I could have pretended to just about anything in the world. But there are very few things one could pretend to when one’s hands are full of that white syrupy liquid that all men at some point or the other have soiled themselves with.
I am not ashamed of admitting it. If I could say that I have a night-life, then this is my favourite midnight activity. And I am not ashamed of admitting it. Millions and millions of lonely men of all ages do this around the world, and there is no reason why I should be the one to be singled out to be made felt guilty about it. And I just don’t buy the crap that Real Men Don’t Do It! Everyone does it. Single men. Married men. Fathers of three kids. Anyone who can do this does it. Some men do pretend that they never did it in their entire lives, but everyone else knows better than to buy it.